Prologue for new life..

I've been married to a wonderful man, K for almost 4 months now and i'm happy i made the right choice. Through happiness and sorrow, we are there for each other.

Life has been joyous, tricky, overwhelmed... trust me, i've never thought i will get to feel all these emotions..

Despite all the happiness, I lost people so dear to me in a very short duration. I cracked, cried for nights, lost my words and have been in deep depression.

My grandma left us 1 month after my wedding. Last time i saw her was during my solemnization. She was sick but she insisted to came with all her might. . On one fine day, I received a call from my sister telling me she was no longer with us. My tears could not stop falling from that moment until her funeral. It is hard to accept that she left us as i've been growing up with her around for 27 years! One thing i regret most is that I postponed my visit to her after my wedding due to time constraint. Now, there are no time for me to pay her a visit anymore..

A week after the funeral, my wedding album was delivered. When i looked at my solemnization album, i could see her smiled while we took pictures together..

A few weeks later, i was pregnant. I felt my life change instantaneaously. I didnt have morning sickness, but i did feel the symptoms; nauseas, backache sudden acne rush, etc. Everybody was happy for a while until one day at my 10th weeks, I was bleeding. I know something was wrong with the baby. We went to the clinic then referred to the hospital. In between the process, i somehow felt the baby was no longer there. I had cried for whole day and night prior to the visit to the hospital as i know i wont be able to meet this little guy (i think this is what we called mother's instinct). After thorough scanning, the doctor confirmed the baby is gone.

There are 3 things i could not forget during miscarriage:
1) The contraction -  I had my contraction the night before D&C
2) The delivery - I could feel the huge clot coming out from my body
3) The freezing -  The icy cold Operation theatre

While i'm writing this blog at this very minute, i'm still in recovering mode. It was not easy, but with so many loving people around me, i know i can do it.

P/S: I shall stop posting my bride-to-be prep as i missed so much i might forget lots of things. But i will share the photos from my wedding soon..

Lots of luv,
eLLe